One of the sad realities that lead to stress during your wedding journey is having so many people weighing in on what “you should do” for your wedding. Well, whose wedding is it anyway? The only people the matter, in theory, are you and your chosen one! I did say ‘in theory ‘ though. Truth be told, what certain people think and want DOES matter. These are people you love and cherish and are important to you. The real question is how do you deal with these people and their demands? Here are some tips to get you on the sane track to planning your big day without unleashing the beast!
1. Create 2 lists with your fiancé(e) regarding your vision:
List A: Your wants. Brainstorm on items you really envision for your special day. Have you always wanted a renaissance themed wedding? Do you love the Art Gallery and dreamt to have the wedding there? Is your style simple and elegant, but you love that splash of vibrant color? Maybe you want to incorporate your engagement in Italy into your wedding. The skies the limit when you’re brainstorming.
List B: What you absolutely, positively do not want. You dislike big weddings so it is important you keep your numbers down; you can’t stand the Centerpiece game; The chicken dance just won’t cut it; A big “NO” to speeches. Whatever it is, write it down!
These lists helps create a joint vision for your wedding and understanding what is important to each of you respectively.
2. Consult with a wedding planner!
Armed with your lists, or at least the vision of your wants, set a consultation session with a Certified Professional Wedding Planner to discuss your budget requirements, wedding planning preparation tips and vendor needs. Consulting with a planner allows you to get a realistic idea of your wedding needs & will give you the confidence you need to deal with any obstacles coming your way. If you are not looking to hire a planner full-time, I urge you to continue with consultations along the way and certainly someone to manage and expedite your hard work on the day-of [wedding].
3. Be Grateful, say “Thank you”!
Remember that family and friends are just trying to help. Of course you will have the one person who is living vicariously through you, or someone who just has to be heard, but they are the exception, not the rule. Smile and say: “Thank you, we will think about it and appreciate it”. Whether you do or not, is irrelevant, you are ultimately preventing any potential drama and making someone feel appreciated and needed.
4. Accept Recommendations.
If someone recommends a vendor, don’t be in such a hurry to turn it away. Although you will get friends and family recommending that you save money by having uncle ‘photographer’ with his new pro camera photograph, or a friend who can whip up a great playlist on the iPod plug it into speakers and DJ, some referrals may actually be of true wedding professionals that can provide you great value and added service! For the rest of them, refer to tip #3;)
5. Remember the ‘why’.
You are getting married to spend your lives together. Don’t make everything about the ‘Wedding’. It’s about you and your partner taking vows to be true and dear to each other come what may. Make sure you put aside one date night a week where there is no wedding talk. You ‘DO’ have time and the wedding is NOT going to fall apart because you took time for dinner and a movie. If you are that overwhelmed, then you definitely need to hire a full-time planner:)
Bonus tip: You get what you pay for. Remember that if you are talking to many vendors and you see substantial price differences, it is your right to ask “Why?” What is one vendor offering that the other is not? Usually the higher the price, the more service(s) you are getting. Do your research and don’t just jump at the lowest price.
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