She's Been Turned: The Bridezilla's got her!

Recently, one of my Groom's-to-be said something that really hit close to home. "She's been turned: I think the Bridezilla's got her!" It made me chuckle at first, but then it made me think of how easy it really is to lose control and lose all sight of logic when it comes to planning your wedding, especially if you do not have a Wedding Planner to pick up some of the slack. The most organized and level headed person can really get insanely frustrated around their wedding day.

I consulted my wonderful Reiki Master/healer friend, Tania Bakas, who was my saviour for my own wedding and following is the article she wrote especially for all you lovely brides-to-be out there.

Brides-to-be: Need a healing hand?

I’m a three time bridesmaid and have witnessed the pressures that brides can experience from up close. The most stressed out, nearly psychotic display of Bridezilla behaviour I’ve ever encountered was at my best friend’s wedding. She was a born planner and had always been the social coordinator for all friendly gatherings, not to mention a professional Event and Wedding planner in Toronto. It was only common sense (or so she thought) to be her own wedding’s planner. As the big day approached, the bride-to be became progressively more stressed out. There was so much to do, not enough hours in the day to get through the hundreds of tasks and not enough energy to be the people pleaser she had always been. It was HER big day she was planning, but she had neglected the most important thing in the planning process: HERSELF!

The two of us had been friends for many years, but hadn’t seen each other since I had started doing Reiki. We had made plans to for me to give my friend Reiki but with our schedule it hadn’t happened.

We had made it to the day of the wedding and my friend was a giant ball of tension. She seemed as if she was ready to lose her mind. What a shame it was to be hours away from what was meant to be the best day of her life and to not be able to enjoy it. The chaos and tension ensured a solid delay in our plans and we were now in a seriously stressful situation. We were LATE!

 All of a sudden she stood up, rollers still in her hair, and screamed: “Everybody get out of the room! Tania, I need Reiki!”. I ran into the room as crowds rushed out, she lay on the bed, I sat at the edge and started channeling the gentle energy. I could feel how her previously “spiky” energy had mellowed out and her breathing was now relaxed. We had a short session due to our time constraints but when we finished she sat up and was a completely different person. She was centered and calm. Present in the moment and trusting of what was to come. 20 Minutes of Reiki were enough to change her outlook of the day and shift her energy from stressed to contented.

My advice to future brides? Other than: “hire a wedding planner...”

Don’t stretch yourself too thin; make sure you take some time for yourself every day. Even if you spend 5 minutes each morning taking deep slow breaths, focusing only on the breathing and not allowing random thoughts to distract you, you will find a sense of peace and joy that will set the tone for the rest of your day. As for Reiki, it is one of many great ways to re-energize your system and find a sense of balance.

The Five Reiki Principles and how they can help you create a joyous Wedding Day

1.    Just for today I will be grateful

This is your wedding day and of course it’s YOUR day. Keep in mind as well that your day is beautiful and amazing because of all the lovely people that will celebrate it with you. Show your gratitude and love to the people that are helping you prepare. Be grateful for all the blessings that have brought you to this day.

2.    Just for today I will not worry

Worry and stress can only put a shadow on a special day. Make a conscious decision to NOT worry and to take things with a grain of salt. Worry comes from fear of a potentially negative outcome. While there is a CHANCE of something negative happening, typically a wedding (an event that takes quite a bit of planning) has a much higher possibility of having a positive outcome. Why not trust the option with the most chances, the positive one? Don’t worry and trust that things will go well.  Worrying simply wastes a day that was designed to be amazing.

3.    Just for today I will not anger

The second you allow yourself to get angry – you surrender your power and strength of character. Your energy level is disrupted and it can be hard to find a sense of balance to get through the day with grace and joy. In the unlikely situation that something goes wrong and would typically anger you, why not choose to use humour or choose to not become emotionally attached to what has happened? Simply look at the problem, seek a solution and act on that. Make the best of the challenge and turn it into an opportunity to create something new or see things from a positive perspective. Anger does not serve you in any productive or positive way – remember you may not have choice in what happens sometimes, but you have choice in how you react to it.

4.    Just for today I will do my work honestly

Your wedding will  involve dealing with many vendors and service providers. Dealing with people in a fair and empathetic way can be a blessing. Honest behaviour and a fair exchange of payment versus services rendered sets the tone for a successful event. Dishonesty arises from the separative awareness of the ego. Dishonesty usually is of a trivial, small nature. Most do not steal on a large scale. But we dishonour ourselves by stealing time from those that we employ or by not appreciating the work that is done for us. We have an opportunity to turn this approach around.

5.    Just for today I will show love and respect for all

Love is a positive counter-action to the fear of others we have been conditioned to experience. Respect replaces judgment. On your wedding day you are going to interact with friends, family and many people that will often have conflicting opinions about what do to, when and how to do it. This may set off feelings of anxiety and indecision. If you remember that everybody comes from all walks of life and that their opinions are largely based on their own personal experiences, you will naturally accept the feedback without taking it personally. Remember to not judge others’ opinions or even fear them. Love them for offering a reflection, a new perspective on things and respect their presence in your life. This behaviour will not only prove to be rewarding, you will most likely find that this is a great way to learn from others and cultivate your own intuition as you practice objectivity.

Tania Bakas is a Reiki Master/Teacher living in North Vancouver, BC. She is Co-Author of the book “Reiki Vibes – Heartwarming Stories” and runs Giving Within Holistic Healing, offering Reiki treatments and classes. www.reikivibes.com – www.givingwithin.com